I have been on an introspective journey in the lead up to the big project launch next week.
I have been looking at the past and how I got here to the present. Writing and developing these courses has involved a great deal of self-reflection – tricky to do when there’s so much scar tissue, and so much work yet to do! But here’s what I have realised, especially observing the effects of the global pandemic and, society rising up against authority…
We cannot erase history.
History is NOT the past.
It is the present.
We carry history with us.
We are our history.
No amount of shame or guilt we carry will change the past. Our existence is an amalgamation of every triumph, every struggle and every hard-won battle.
I have been a mother and business woman for over 2 decades, and I have made my share of mistakes and travelled many roads. However, there are two roads that I have been on and seen well-intentioned, very bright, intelligent, enthusiastic people take:
- The first is all about success, how high we can climb in career and status. We are the special, talented, different ones so the “event” replaces our presence. I have been there, so I know that this road is laced with (innocent) denial and delusion.
- The other road requires us only to deny the really bad stuff. Forget abuse, violence, suicide, sex trafficking, terrorism, racism, sexism, inequity, mental illness… all the ugly stuff that we experience or observe but don’t talk about. Forget anything that will get in the way. Forget the shame, guilt, fear, pain we carry. Shove it deep down there the sun doesn’t shine – and TRY to carry on…
Sadly, BOTH roads have a dead end. Both result in these well-intentioned, very bright, enthusiastic people – like you and I – doing NOTHING.
The road we must take is the heroic one.. to own it all. Own all of our memories and experiences, even if they were traumatic. Collectively, let’s own it! The world is broken, because we are broke. There are too many of us who want to forget or stay in denial. But, who said that all of who we are has to be good? All of who we are is… who we are! And when we can own and accept our history, we can forgive and live peacefully in the present.
Get on it!
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